Friday, September 25, 2009

Good morning Joan...

"Good morning Joan,
Now pick up your phone.
It was bad, but just a dream.
And you are remembered."
- The Cardigans


I decided today when I got out of the shower at 11:30 this morning that I was turning over a new leaf in my life. I am no longer going to put up with the crap that is flung my way. No more crap is the new mantra. No more crap... no more crap.... no more crap! (do you see the small little protesters inside my brain chanting this? I do!)


I have had a very nice life in the short 31 years I have resided on this planet. There have been times that were better than others, but for the most part, I shouldn't complain. But I have. And I am not doing that anymore either... cause it's crappy. And what is the mantra boys and girls? That's right Timmy, no more crap!


Good things are going on in my life and I really want to focus on them. The good things in life deserve our attention more than the bad things do. Because the more attention you give the bad things, the worse they get and unless you are a superhero, they are way too hard to solve. For a really long time I focused on things that I thought were bareable but not so great... then I saw how unhappy I was and I tried to change the bad situation with (worse) choices that I thought would make things bareable again - along with trying to change myself, I was trying to change a whole other person. I thought that by pushing the things that I felt were really wrong under the rug that I could mend everything... but I learned that you cannot change things that are already embedded in someone. It really wasn't fair to anyone involved and it was no one's fault in the end... But I swear that I will never put anyone through that again. And I am so sorry that I made life so miserable for such a long while. I meant no harm, but I am positive that everyone involved is WAY better off... So I am becoming the superhero in my own right and paying more attention to the good things in life.


I want to be remembered for the things that I do that are right. And not the pain that I may cause unintentionally. But honestly I really haven't done anything wrong... I am proud of what I have accomplished in life. I am proud of who I am becoming as a woman, a friend, a mentor, a lover and a person in general. I am super excited about my life, the door of happiness is wide open and I am really one of the luckiest girls I know...



So, good morning Joan. Thanks for picking up your phone. It was bad, but now I feel as if life was a dream... and I will be remembered.


Love, Peace and Pineapples,

FC

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